My friends came up with a term a couple of years ago, I honestly don’t know if they made it up but it’s called “fantasy feeding.” According to them I’m a big “fantasy feeder” which is completely accurate, I might even be the queen of it out of all my friends.
Fantasy Feeding is basically jumping the gun on relationships( your own relationship and/or your friends lol) like when my friend starts dating a guy I’m usually the one that asks if I can be a bridesmaid right away, even though they haven’t even been dating that long.
That’s an example of what we mean by “Fantasy Feeding” I pretty much start planning their futures and mine…….in a sense we all do.
It’s normal to want to know your future or at least have an idea of how your future is supposed to be. Instead the future ends up being an unknown, life takes unexpected turns and always keeps you on your toes.
A couple of years ago I “fantasy fed” a little too much about one of my friendships. You see we both liked one another and everyone knew. Me being me, little miss “fantasy feeder” I could see us dating and see a whole future. Basically I could picture myself spending the rest of my life with him. Well, all I can say is it’s better living in the moment than living in the future.
As it turned out, he wasn’t ready to date. Hearing “I just want to be friends right now” was not what I had anticipated. I did not handle that well it was like “ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? WHAT WAS THE POINT OF TELLING ME YOU LIKE ME IF YOU WERE JUST GOING TO FRIEND ZONE ME?”
So our friendship took a break. I spent two days sitting on the couch watching chick flicks like Disney’s live-action Cinderella. It sucked. I sat there replaying over and over in my head how it could have ended differently.
How we could have been together but alas I had to settle for being just friends.
You see I did what a good majority of us do. Instead of living in the present…I started living in the future, planning the future.
I think we can all agree on that….we do sometimes “fantasy feed” we do sometimes get it into our heads of how it’s supposed to be. And the truth is, it doesn’t always turn out the way you plan.
As soon I realized that I indeed wasn’t living in the present but instead too busy planning my future. I took a step back. As for my friend and I, I’m happy to say we are still friends.
After that incident I started living in the present. I moved on. I still “fantasy feed” but not as much as I once did. Every once in a while I will freak out over a friends new relationship and bug her if I can be her bridesmaid ( I’m sorry I can’t help it, I love love!)
But I’ve opened my eyes and realized that it’s so much better living in the present. Unexpected things happen. Life takes you on crazy adventures you would never even fathom.
I “fantasy feed” and I might always “fantasy feed” I have had some crazy fun memories and I’ve had some painful ones but it hasn’t kept me from giving up completely on “fantasy feeding.”
We all think we know what love is supposed to be like. We all think it’s a certain way and it can only happen at the right time, but love just happens. It stops for no one.
I “fantasy feed” because I want my friends to be happy. I want them to find love but also I grew up watching chick flick and Disney Princess movies that tell you how it’s supposed to be. But in reality life isn’t perfect. Love is complicated not simple.
I know one day, I’ll give up “fantasy feeding” most likely when all my friends are happily married. But as for now, I’ll still be “fantasy feeding.”